


Clasp of Help

by LilyMJFae



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: ACOSF SPOILERS, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Lucien is a bean, azriel bonus chapter spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:15:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29977251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyMJFae/pseuds/LilyMJFae
Summary: WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR A COURT OF SILVER FLAMES. SPECIFICALLY THE AZRIEL BONUS CHAPTER. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNEDAfter being rejected by Azriel, Elain is trying to return the necklace he gave her. Lucien, sensing her distress through the bond goes to her. And they take a walk and have an important talk.
Relationships: Elain Archeron/Lucien Vanserra
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	Clasp of Help

**Author's Note:**

> One last warning. This story contains spoilers for A Court of Silver Flames as well as the Azriel bonus chapter (you can find this pinned on my tumblr lily-mj-fae).

Lucien had retired to his bedroom, but not because he was tired. Well, not in the sense of needing sleep. He was just tired of being near Elain. Tired of seeing the way she avoided him. He wondered if he shouldn’t just give up altogether. That was part of the reason he preferred to stay with Jurian and Vassa. In the spring Court, with Tamlin, there was little to distract him. But with the band of Exiles? At least he could ignore that constant tug sometimes. But he had a job with the night court. And every time he visited, he told himself,  _ We won’t go see her _ . Some visits were more successful than others. It was when he caught a glimpse of her hair, golden in the sunlight, or heard the sound of her sweet voice that he couldn’t fight the pull. And he knew he shouldn’t have accepted the invitation for Solstice, but he couldn’t help it. And the way Elain had reacted to the gift. He should have known better. She probably had reacted similarly to his gift from the year before. 

Because he wasn’t tired though, he found himself sitting in one of the armchairs in the room, looking over some of the papers he was going to have to sort through and ensure got to the right place. There was a lot of information. None of it terribly interesting.

And then he felt something stirring in him. At first, he wasn’t sure what it was.

But then there was this gut feeling that something was horribly  _ wrong _ . 

So he quickly moved out of the room, following a tug within him down to the now empty living room.

Or so he’d thought. Instead he found Elain facing away from him, standing in front of a pile of presents. It wasn’t her own though. No, he was fairly certain those were things gifted to Azriel. Not that she was taking anything. In fact, it looked like she was struggling with something at the base of her neck, and he smelt salt in the air...almost like tears. When he heard a small, frustrated sniff, he knew he was right.

“Lady,” he said softly, stepping further into the room. 

She jumped, startled and turned to face him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you I just…” He paused. Could he admit he had apparently followed that bond? That bond she seemed so keen to ignore. And he was too nervous to talk to her about.

But it was also the appearance on her face that took the words from his mouth. When he saw her, and she managed to make herself oblivious to his presence, she could light up a room with her smile. The way her eyes would shine bright with affection for her sister or her friends. Even the way she looked when he stole glimpses of her in the gardens. But tears lined her eyes, red and puffy. And there was no light coming from her.

“It’s fine,” she said, her voice cracking with the tears.

“Did...did something happen?”

His eyes caught the golden chain around her neck. The simple necklace hanging, that had not been there before. That he had not seen her open. And realized she also hadn’t given Azriel a present. Perhaps they’d done something private.

That thought struck a chord deep within him. The side of him that he knew was tied to that bond. Still, he shoved it aside.

Her mouth opened, like she wanted to say something. But she barely knew him. Didn’t really ever seem to trust him.

“Did...did you need help at least. With, whatever it was you were trying to do?” 

She looked down, seemingly toward the necklace where it rested, before back up at him. And then she gave a nod. Even took a step towards him. “I can’t get the clasp…” she said softly. Though the tears weren’t falling, it was obvious in her voice that she was holding them back.

Lucien nodded, crossing the room as she turned back, pulling her hair out of the way.

It barely took him more than a couple seconds to unclasp the chain, causing it to slide into her waiting hand. She held onto it for a moment, not looking at him. But he could just hear her as she whispered, “Thank you.”

Lucien took a couple steps back, giving her some space. “I know...I know we don’t really know each other. And I know you don’t have much reason to trust me. But if you want to talk about it…” He wasn’t sure he even wanted to hear. But if she needed to say it, he’d listen. Even if just to spend time with her that perhaps she wouldn’t reject.

She was quiet for a moment, and Lucien didn’t think she’d respond. He started to take a few more steps back, planning to leave her to her thoughts. It’s not like she wouldn’t know where to find him. Though he was sure she wouldn’t. 

“I’ll just leave-”

“No.”

He paused. Her voice had rang clear. He glanced at her. She still hadn’t turned around, still held that necklace clutched in her hand. But after a moment, she placed it gently on the pile. Then she turned around and walked over to him. 

“Would...would you like to take a walk with me?”

It was winter outside. Absolutely freezing. And even her garden would be nothing more than hibernating plants. But she was walking to the hallway to put on her shoes and grab a coat. So it seemed she might be determined to go walk in the city, in the cold by herself. He wouldn’t let her do that. So instead, he followed her, slipping on his shoes, and his own coat. Grabbing hers and helping her into it. And it seemed that was a good enough answer for her.

They stepped out the front door, the River Manor giving them an excellent view of the city of Velaris.

For a few minutes, Lucien thought maybe she just wanted company on a walk so she wouldn’t be alone with her thoughts. And since he’d been there, he was convenient company.

But then she said something.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly.

He glanced at her, finding her gaze straight ahead. “Sorry? I don’t-”

“I’m not very nice to you.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“I’m not.”

“You’ve never been mean.”

“But I don’t let you make an effort.”

He paused at that. Her own gaze flicked to his for a moment, before returning to the path before them.

“I thought you just didn’t get it. I thought Feyre would have told you. About me not wanting this bond.” That sent a jolt of pain through him, but he didn’t say anything. “I thought, maybe she’d have Rhys talk to you. She told me about how Rhys had been willing to stand by and let her marry another man...male I guess.”

Lucien felt himself cringe as he thought of the days leading up to the wedding. The way he’d failed Feyre in his blind acceptance of Tamlin...who had become his only family. 

“It’s hard to look at you too sometimes.” He blinked. He hadn’t even ever considered that. “Sometimes when I see you, it feels like I’m back in that room. Nesta pulling me away. And I remember everything that happened. Even when you seemed to get past the spell on you, and covered me with your jacket. I don’t think I ever thanked you for that.”

She’d been freezing. And in nothing more than her nightgown. He hadn’t thought anything of it at the time, he’d just wanted to do something to right the wrongs being done to her. 

“You don’t hav-”

“I want to.” Her gaze met his again, and this time she stopped. “It was a kind thing you did. And...I thought it was impressive you’d been able to break through the spell on you.”

He had always thought that the king had just released the spell. But Elain’s phrasing...he couldn’t have broken that spell. That wasn’t his power. And yet, Hybern had been enjoying himself too much.

“So thank you. For that kindness. You didn’t have to do that, but you did. And I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome. Though, really. I was just doing what was right.”

She offered a small smile before turning back to the path before them and moving again. He kept pace with her. This was...new. She freely spoke with him and wasn’t shrinking back. He’d take that. It was a start.

“I’ve been so distant to you though. Part of it was just me wanting to stay away from everything fae. I didn’t want this life. I was content to live my life as a human with Graysen. Even though I knew Feyre would stay young and live long after me. I just, I wanted that simple life with him. A family.”

More pain that hit Lucien in the gut. But he kept himself straight up, kept his face neutral. He didn’t want her to stop. This was progress. Progress he’d spent the last year and half waiting for. He wasn’t about to do anything to make it stop. To make her stop.

“And Graysen. He knew about you. About the mating bond. And he threw it in my face as he rejected me further.”

Lucien paused at that. He hadn’t know about that. He hadn’t known that Graysen knew. Except...Jurian had mentioned when he’d gone to Graysen’s estate immediately. And the few interactions Lucien had had with Graysen were...well less than desirable. 

“He told me that it meant I belonged to you,” she said softly, as if speaking about it had reawoken that pain in her. “And I resented it even more in that moment. I loathed the existence of it.”

That he could understand. She’d been in love with Graysen. They were engaged to be married. And if there was anything he could understand in all of this, it was the lingering feelings for someone. His own feelings for Jessminda still lived within his own heart. 

“I didn’t realize that had happened,” he said softly. “I am sorry for that. I wouldn’t ever want you to feel like you didn’t have a say in the matter.”

A small scoff escaped her. “But I didn’t. Not really. I didn’t have a say in becoming Fae. I pleaded with the cauldron even. As I was held under, I pleaded for it not to work. To destroy Hybern’s plans. But...instead it turned me into a fae. And into a seer. And then there was the bond with us. But you didn’t get a say in that either, did you?”

He opened his mouth, about to object. And then closed it. After a moment he said, “No. I suppose you’re right there.”

She sighed. “Rhys and Feyre have discussed us. Many times. They think I’m not listening. But I do. He said that males can go crazy if the bond is rejected. Is that true?” 

Lucien blinked at her. He didn’t want to lie. And he could feel that within himself. The inner war. He could see that driving someone crazy. Especially if it went on for years...decades...centuries. “They can, yes.”

“It would hurt you…”

It’s not a question. Or a statement. “Is that why you haven’t…” Haven’t addressed it yet, he wants to say. But he stops himself. “I don’t want you to feel obligated.”

“I..I don’t know what I feel right now,” she said.

“Does that have to do with whatever happened tonight?”

There was a weighted silence. Perhaps he was prying too far. She wasn’t ready to face it yet. 

“Yes. No. a little bit.”

Her answer surprised him. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He wanted to give her that chance. Even if he might not be her first choice. Though, if she’d wanted to speak to someone else, he was sure she’d have found someone.

“I don’t want it to hurt you.” 

He gave a half smile and nudged her gently. “Don’t worry about me. If it’s something you want to talk about, I’ll be fine.”

She blinked at him. They’ve wandered far from the house, into the city. It’s quiet, most people asleep in bed.

“I...Azriel…” she sighed, trying to figure it out. “I had a bit of a crush on Azriel when I first met him. I was terrified of him. Of all of them. But Azriel...He intrigued me.”

It didn’t take much to observe that the crush was returned. Lucien himself had snarled at watching Azriel with Elain in those weeks after he and Feyre made it to the Night Court. So he had had something to worry about there.

“And it’s grown. I was beginning to think that maybe he and I could be something more.” She looked over to Lucien, watching for any sign of anger or judgment. But Lucien kept his face schooled into neutrality. “Tonight I went to sneak his gift into his pile. It was a joke, but one that Nesta would not have appreciated in front of everyone. So I wanted to keep it quiet. And instead I ran into him.”

Lucien chuckled. “A joke?”

She blinked, caught off guard. “Oh. Umm. I got him some ear plugs. So he could block out...sound.”

Lucien processed, especially when she mentioned her sister not appreciating it. And then it clicked. “Oh. Oh, I can see why you wouldn’t do that in front of everyone.”

She gave a small smile and nodded. “So I gave him those when I ran into him. And then he gave me…”

She trailed off, but Lucien knew the answer. “The necklace…”

She nodded. “It was a beautiful gift…”

Lucien gave a nod. He wished his own gift had inspired such a response in her. Maybe one day he could. 

“We were standing there. And very close. And...almost a breath away from kissing. But he pulled back just before we could. And then he said it was a mistake.” Her voice cracked on that last part.

Rage coursed through Lucien at the sound of pain in her voice. At the treatment of his mate by the shadowsinger. 

“He walked off. And...I just...after all this time. I had thought it was mutual. That we both wanted it. But I guess I was wrong.”

“And that’s why you were returning the necklace…”

She gave another nod. “I waited in my room until he was gone. And went down to put it with his things. It was so lovely but…”

He felt his heart ache for her. 

Lucien stopped, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Hey,” he said softly. “It’s okay. And, it’s not your fault. I don’t think any male in their right mind would stop themselves from kissing you if they had the opportunity.”

Lucien certainly wouldn’t have. If she ever gave him that choice.

“I-”

He didn’t make her continue. “I promise. And I promise, that is coming from a man who has seen you smile. I cannot imagine anyone wanting to do anything that would take that smile away from you.”

Her cheeks flushed, perhaps from the cold, as he saw her shiver too, perhaps from the compliment. Still, she did give a soft smile in return.

They had ventured from the estate. Farther than Lucien had expected.

“Thank you,” she said softly. “For listening.”

“You needed someone. And I am glad to have been able to be there,” he told her.

She shivered. And Lucien, without really thinking, wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. She tensed for a moment, and he almost let go, but then she relaxed, accepting the warmth that was behind the offer.

“Perhaps we should head back to the house. It’s late. And it’s cold,” he offered. 

She gave a small nod and waited. Then walked together back to the River Manor, Elain tucked into him for warmth. They didn’t say anything for the walk back. But it wasn’t the usual awkward silence between them. 

Lucien walked her to her room, a proper gentleman. But he paused. “Thank you for the walk this evening, Lady Elain.”

She looked up at him. “Elain,” she said softly. “Just...Just Elain please.” 

He nodded slightly. “Goodnight, Elain.”

“Goodnight, Lucien. And...thank you. I know that listening to that might not have been easy.”

It hadn’t been. It had been so hard to hear about the affection she held for other males. But at the same time, she’d spoken to him. And that had made it so very easy. “It was my pleasure,” he said. “To be able to offer a sympathetic ear. And walk with you.”

He bowed slightly, before leaving her in the doorway, heading towards his own room.

The next morning, he hadn’t planned on staying through breakfast. But Elain came down the stairs in a dress of light lavender, and a pair of pearl earrings in her ears. She gave him a soft smile. And so he decided that it would be worth staying, if there was this chance of them being more than polite acquaintances.


End file.
